Why does the pink and blue division of toys matter? Why should we care about the gendered marketing schemes running rampant?

In the Huffington Post, there was an article last year around this time detailing the “10 Worst Toys for Girls.” These ranged from a cleaning trolley to a Barbie that comes with tattoos, to a “pole dancing” doll. No, I’m not making that last one up.  Frankly, I think that may have been a novelty toy. But, even in stores such as Toys-R-Us, I’ve seen a temporary back tattoo for little girls.

Some of the toys on this list may seem okay to you, while others are definitely not going to make it into your kids room… ever.  What do you think? Are there other toys out there that you think are terrible? What about those that are a great alternative? Frankly, it’s really easy to find examples of toys that promote very narrow gender stereotypes. When you look at toy catalogues online, there’s an entire section labeled “girl.” What do you think is in that section? If you guessed babies and play houses, you’re right. All of the outside toys are depicted with boys riding on them, not girls. Sometimes the girls are in the passenger seat.

These are clear examples of what the research tells us about gender stereotypes in both advertisements and entertainment aimed at children. Even in educational software, you see over and over that boys are represented as aggressive, active, and competitive while girls are dependent and passive. When children repeatedly see these gender stereotypes, they begin to believe them.

We see in the research literature that kids identify with activities that they see someone of their own gender engaging in. If we want our daughters to be able to see themselves being a soccer player, doctor, politician, etc. someday, then we need to be sure that we’re showing them examples of women doing those things. If we want our sons to be able to see themselves as being a positive father, teacher, artist, etc. someday, then we need to be sure that they get the opportunity to see men doing those things.  If they aren’t allowed to dream of certain options, that closes doors for them. Let’s work on sharing big ideas with our kids about what they can do, about who they can be. Don’t let them be limited by narrow gender stereotyping. Allow them to dream big dreams.

Image via Wikipedia

If you’d like to let LEGO’s know that we need more gender neutral options and less gendered marketing and packaging, consider signing this petition.

http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-lego-to-stop-selling-out-girls

I posted a shorter version of this article last year around this time. But, given the recent news of Lego’s “girl line,” I thought it was important to come back to this conversation.

It’s that time of year, when children everywhere start thinking about what they want for Christmas.  If you watch Saturday morning commercials or other advertisements directed toward children, you’ll see a very gendered approach to marketing toys. Even in toy stores, toys are clearly delineated into blue and pink sections. Want to guess what’s in each section? The pink/girl section is full of doll houses, babies and baby care products, Barbie’s and play cleaning products. The blue/boy section is full of cars and other forms of transportation, sports equipment, and action figures.

What about toys that both boys and girls like to play with, like Lego’s, Lincoln Logs, and other building and craft making equipment? For one thing, unfortunately, these toys are often in the boy aisle. What’s very interesting to me, as the mother of daughters, is that when I do see those products in the “girl” section, they are marketed in a distinctly different way. As an example, I found ads for Moon Sand, a moldable, buildable material. My daughters and the boys I know all like Moon Sand. But, here’s what’s weird about the way that it’s marketed, for boys it’s sold as a way to build new lands and create new things while for girls it’s sold as a way to pretend to be cooking, baking, and playing with dolls. What, girls don’t also like to create and build new things? Boys don’t like to bake and play with people figures?

And now we have Lego’s new girl range. In this article in Bloomberg Businessweek, it is clear that Lego’s has done exhaustive work trying to understand what has kept girls from playing with them before and what would make Lego’s more attractive to girls. As my friend, Michele, from Princess Free Zone made clear in her excellent post on this topic, perhaps girls don’t see Lego’s as attractive because since 2005, as stated in the Business Week article, the company has been aiming straight at boys. Hmm….maybe girls don’t really have to have pastel colored blocks, curvier minifigures, and hair salons to build. Perhaps, just consider the idea, they just need to actually see ads featuring girls playing with these toys. Perhaps, girls simply have been shown very clearly one too many times that this product is “for boys.” Perhaps, girls have been so inundated with this idea that everything has to be gendered that they have bought it hook line and sinker. Girls used to play with Lego’s without there having to be any discernible differences. As this Lego’s ad from the 80′s shows, the company promoted the product to both girls and boys as fun building sets. Listen, girls like to build! I recently interviewed 5 young women at a high school for technology, math, and science who were all in the robotics club and went to competitions with the robots that they had built. And here’s something else you need to know, none of the pieces were pastel colored. These girls loved building their robot because they like using their minds to solve problems and create things, just like the boys in their classes, and they didn’t need it to be color coded to enjoy it.

Lego's Ad from the 1980's

In this season, some of the most outrageous examples of gender stereotyping in toy marketing are evident. And they make me angry. When we restrict our children to narrow gendered interests and activities, we short change them. They aren’t allowed the fullest expression of their own true selves when they’re put in little pink and blue boxes. Let’s throw those boxes out, and let children experience the wide range of who they can be and who they can become.

Trust, Mistrust and Advertising | The Media Education Lab Blog.

In this interesting article on the Media Education Lab blog, Renee Hobbs discusses some key ideas about teaching media literacy to the preschool aged child. One of the issues that she brings forward as an essential tool that we can begin with is that of trust-vs-mistrust.

Young children are already exploring the concept of trust. It’s a very important idea as we relate to the world around us. We’re getting all kinds of information coming from many different sources. How do we know which are true, which are real, in other words: which to trust? As Renee Hobbs notes in her post, ”children begin to learn about distrust around age three, but cannot apply that sense of distrust until around age five.” And even for adults, mistrust is difficult to apply when it comes to advertisements and persuasive messages. Who among us hasn’t bought that product thinking it would do x,y, or z for us even while knowing cognitively that it probably wouldn’t? If persuasive advertising didn’t work, the diet pill industry would fail, and yet….it doesn’t. But what’s important to remember is that all of us evaluate information we receive based on our perceptions of the informant. Research has shown that preschool children do this as well. They tend to evaluate the trustworthiness of informants based on their perception of that informant’s accuracy in providing information. If they see an informant as accurate, then they are more likely to want to learn from that informant in the future.

So how can parents and other caring adults work to help children begin to apply their growing understanding of trust-vs-mistrust to media? One important idea is to help preschool children to begin to see media and marketing as an informant who they can mistrust, building on the idea of accuracy and inaccuracy.

• Frame advertisements as made by people who want you to do something specific: buy their product or watch their show.
• Talk about the times when a friend or sibling has tried to get them to do something by telling them something that wasn’t true. What did that person do or say? Have they ever done that to someone? How did they do it? The idea is to let the child begin to see media and marketing in the same way as they might someone who they know wants them to do something so that they can engage their mistrust or critical abilities.
• Play a game of watching an advertisement and guessing what they want you to do. Are they trying to get you to buy a certain product, eat at a certain restaurant, or go to a certain movie? This guessing game helps your child begin to see the persuasive element in these modes of information.
• Point out untruths that are used to sell things. For example, if a cereal is being advertised by showing kids doing stunts on skateboards, ask your child, “Does eating that cereal make you a great skateboarder?” Depending on their age, they may so yes or no. Go on to talk with them about it in more detail. No, eating that cereal won’t make you a great skateboarder. The company wants you to think their cereal is fun and will give you energy to do active things.  This is a fun game that helps your child learn to distinguish the product from the lifestyle connections that the ads are trying to promote.
• Use social stories, books, or other devices to share stories about the purpose of advertising with your child. Your goal is to allow them to begin to see advertisements and media in general as an untrustworthy informant. That’s not to demonize these sources of information, but to allow your child to clearly see them as persuasive.
• Here’s an example of a social story that I might use with a young child to help them begin to think of advertisements as persuasive. Social Story media literacy

I refuse to live my life that way. I am a person of hope; deep inside I believe with all of my heart that we can change the world for the better. And I believe it because I see it happening everyday around me in big ways and in small ones. In the See It & Be It series, in addition to sharing stories of people doing jobs you may love, I want to introduce you to people who are world changers, people like Serge Gasore. I hope that as we see these examples of adults, children, and families who are making this world a better place, each of us will look into our own hearts and search for ways that we can become world changers as well.

There is a little boy in our community named Liam Lowe. Liam was diagnosed with leukemia in November of 2010.  Since then, he has received a lot of chemotherapy and radiation, a stem cell transplant, and an NK-cell treatment.  Liam was in remission for a awhile but relapsed in July 2011. He was recently at a world renowned hospital where his family was encouraged to bring him home for hospice care. Right now, Liam is not doing well.

As Liam’s father, Matt, wrote on Liam’s Wells Project page, “After his first relapse, in an attempt to make each day as meaningful as it could be, we decided that every day in the hospital should include three important things: learning something, making something and loving someone. After one conversation about how to love people, we ended up at the Water Project’s website, and Liam started raising money to dig wells for people who have no clean water. In just a few weeks, more than 200 people had contributed over $16,000, and in October two wells were completed, both in Kenya.”

Since then, many people have wanted to continue to support Liam’s Wells Project. As Liam is struggling, he and his family are determined to allow him to find something meaningful that he can do. Liam is currently in the process of raising money to build more wells for those desperately in need of clean water.

As Liam and his family struggle with the pain of his illness, they also seek to find meaning in this life that he is living. Liam has led the charge to provide clean water for these communities in need, and has been successful in funding two wells. Liam is an inspiration to me. He, in his small, frail, body, stands straight up against the belief that we may as well sit back and just let life be. No, Liam’s life says, I will make a mark on this world, I will make it better, even if I am only here for a short time, even if I am struggling with my own pain and illness.

I call you to let people like Liam inspire you to find meaning in your own life. You have the ability to make this world a better place, whether that’s through being a friend to someone in need, reaching out to someone new in your community, or using your talents in a big way. Making the world better isn’t about doing something that everyone notices, it doesn’t have to be about being famous or well-known. Making the world better happens in those small, everyday decisions that we make to live with grace and love toward those around us. Allow yourself to be a person of hope, a person who finds meaning in life, even in times of pain.

If you would like to help Liam fund more wells for communities that need clean water, You can visit his page at http://thewaterproject.org/community/profile/liams-wells

A lot of fairy tales start with “Once upon a time.” Let’s tell our own Once Upon a Time story, where we get to be the heroes!

Challenge: These stories usually include a challenge and how the hero overcame it. Let’s think about what challenge you’ve faced that might be interesting. Here you can give some examples, such as learning a certain sport or skill, being bullied, moving to a new school, going to camp for the first time, friendship troubles, anything that your child or you have faced and dealt with together.

Action: Heroes in fairy tales take action to solve their problems. What actions did you take to solve your problems? Describe your thoughts as you were getting ready to act. Were you scared, worried, wondering if it would work? Help your child work through the emotions that they felt as they were getting ready to act to solve their problems. The point is that problem-solving isn’t easy, and sometimes it involves overcoming our fears or worries. The fairytale stories we hear don’t always focus on this, but doing it with your child will allow them to understand that negative emotions are a part of facing challenges, and it’s okay to feel them. It also helps them begin to understand that negative emotions don’t have to stop us from acting!

Outcome: Fairy tales often end with the words “and they lived happily ever after.” Let’s come up with a new phrase that fits how we see things moving in our own stories. The old “happily ever after” phrase is, of course, not realistic. Brainstorm with your child to come up with one you both like. Give them examples like “and they lived thoughtfully/strongly/bravely ever after” or “and they all kept working hard to….” 

This is a fun activity that allows children, adolescents, and even adults to see themselves as the heroes of their own lives, to see the actions that they have already taken to solve problems, and to encourage them to view themselves as active participants in the world around them! Even if you don’t have kids, try this for yourself. It can be a powerful way to learn to see your own story in a different way.

Here’s an example that I did with my 7-year-old daughter, Allie.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Allie who wanted to play soccer. A lot of her friends were on a soccer team, and Allie wanted to play with them. But, she didn’t know how. Allie’s mom and dad asked if she wanted to sign up to play on the team, but Allie was worried that she wouldn’t be good and her friends would laugh at her. Would it be hard to learn? What if she was bad at it? Would people make fun of her? Allie cried and worried and told her mom that she didn’t know how to play. But after a while, she decided to give it a try. She signed up for soccer, and at first she wasn’t very good. But she kept learning, going to practice, going to camps and playing at school. Now Allie is a pretty good player, and she is working to get better. She doesn’t worry about not being good enough anymore and she just has fun playing. And she’ll keep working to become the best soccer player that she can be.” The End. 

Hugo Movie Trailer

It can be difficult to find movies that are affirming for both boys and girls, and it is a rare film today that captures the imagination and pulls us into the magical world of cinema. As I watched the movie Hugo with my 12-year-old daughter, I felt that we had found a film that does both of those things.

Hugo is the story of a boy who has been orphaned and then abandoned who is looking for his place in the world. Hugo works on clocks, and this serves as a metaphor for life for him. As he works to make machines that are broken work again, Hugo begins to understand that everyone has a role to play in the world around them. When his friend, Isabelle, questions her own role in life, Hugo explains how he came to see things.

“I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too.”

He and Isabelle then go on to help many other people in their lives find their own places in the world. What I love about this movie was the way that both Hugo and Isabelle were depicted as complex characters. Isabelle isn’t some shallow love interest. Instead, she’s Hugo’s friend. They are both people who are longing to belong, who have lost a great deal, and yet want to help others. Isabelle isn’t interested in shopping and looking like she’s 20 and Hugo isn’t interested in destroying everything he sees. These are realistic and powerful characters with whom children can connect emotionally.

My daughter and I both also liked the positive message in Hugo that each of us has talents to offer the world. Even in the smaller characters, Scorsese pulls together enough of a story to emphasize this message again and again. This movie could be a great starting place for a conversation with your own children about looking for ways to reach out to others, to serve others, to use their talents to make the world a better place.

Hugo is one of a handful of children’s movies that I’ve seen recently that offer such optimist messages about the value of human beings. If you’re looking for this type of movie to watch with your children, you might also consider Ramona & Beezus, which focuses on learning to accept yourself and others for who each of you are and celebrate your differences. My family loves both the Narnia series and the Harry Potter series for deep messages about the power of love and friendship and the importance of standing up for what is right even in the darkest moments.

If you have other movies that you would recommend that promote positive messages to children, I would love to hear about them in the comments to this post. It would be great to have a list of resources for parents who are looking for positive media options. Thanks for sharing!

Last Friday there was a segment on 20/20 on the sexualization of children. The segment provided some good information about why sexualization is a problem. What was missing were any solutions. Mainstream media seems very interested in using the shock factor of little girls all tarted up to get viewers interested in a story, but often times no actual solutions or suggestions for response are provided. So viewers are left thinking, “That’s terrible!” but also feeling that they have no power to make a difference.

This isn’t true! As consumers we do have power. As the Australian group, Collective Shout, has shown recently with their campaign against the store Diva carrying Playboy accessories for young girls and Kmart’s thong underwear for young girls with saying like, “I love Rich Boys,” retailers do eventually respond when there is enough consumer pressure. They also compiled a “Cross ‘em off your list” list that provides consumers with the names of companies that have shown a pattern of sexualizing children so that the customer can avoid purchasing any items from these companies.  Groups here in the US such as SPARK Summit and Powered By Girl provide regular updates on companies that are sexualizing children and lead the charge for response with things like PBG’s regular ad contest which spoofs the most sexualizing ads.

What I want you to know is that consumers do have power, it’s called our money. We can choose not to support any companies that promote an idea about girls and women that we don’t like. We also have the freedom to call out organizations that are sexualizing children. We are not powerless! Want some ideas for things that you can do? Here’s a list to get you started:

• Communicate your concerns: Talk to store managers, call and/or email corporate offices, start or sign a petition that lets retailers and corporations know that you do not support sexualized marketing practices and will take your business elsewhere.
• Take it public: Companies are using public space to sell their sexualized images and narratives, and those of us who don’t like it need to take our argument public. Use the platforms like Change.org, SPARK Summit and PBG, Facebook, and other public forums to let your voice be heard loud and clear. Even the Stick it to ‘Em campaign where you print out or make sticky notes that share your message and then stick them on products at stores make an impact.
• Put your money where your mouth is: Refuse to buy products from stores or companies that promote the sexualization of women and children. It’s that simple. Recently I was involved with a protest against Books-A-Million holding a Playboy magazine signing at our local mall’s bookstore. Even though many of us asked them not to do this, the signing was held. I have committed not to spend one dollar in Books-A-Million for the next year in protest of their actions. It’s the only bookstore in our town and it’s going to be a pain, but I’m going to do it anyway because we MUST use our consumer power where we can to make our point to companies that we WILL NOT buy their products when they do not listen to our concerns.
• Join in Community: Get involved with organizations such as Operation Transformation, SPARK Summit, and PBG that provide a forum for letting your voice be heard. When we raise our voices together, we are more likely to be heard.

It’s time for all of us to work together to say, “no more” to companies who want to make a buck off of the bodies of little girls. It’s not appropriate and it doesn’t promote healthy development. We are not powerless, let’s stand together and let our voices be heard.

One of the most powerful forces in the fight against sexualization can be found in the communities of support with which a child is involved. From sports teams to acting troupes, from math teams to churches, these communities provide a child with realistic feedback in several different ways. They help a child or adolescent learn to see the world from a well-defined perspective that is often missing in sexualized media depictions. For example:

• Communities of support provide children and adolescents with feedback about what kids are really doing. On TV, the girls may all be dressing in sexy clothes and the couples may all be having sex, but a close-knit community of adolescents can provide a counterpoint to this when a child notices that the people that they know aren’t doing these things.
• Communities provide a focus on achievement that is not about sexuality. From sports teams to dance troupes to academic clubs and religious youth groups, children who are involved in communities receive a message about their value that comes from something that they can do or be, rather than how they look. This is a very powerful counterpoint to the messages of sexualized media that focus primarily on sexuality as power for girls and women.
• Communities provide accountability for individual behavior and a focus on being a team player. One of the issues that we see with sexualized media is a kind of “all about me” focus that promotes seeing oneself or treating others as objects with a very individualistic perspective of relating to other people. But communities don’t work this way. When children and adolescents are involved with communities, they get feedback from their peers when they become too “me” centric. Nobody wants to play on the team with the player who only cares about themselves, nobody wants to be in the play with the actor who can’t work with others, and this kind of pressure is good in helping adolescents learn to work with others, to see their value as a member of a community rather than solely focusing on their themselves and how to get what they want.

Communities of support can provide children and adolescents with many positive messages that powerfully contradict the messages of sexualized media. If the children in your life haven’t become connected with a community of peers, it may be time to start thinking about what kinds of groups they might enjoy being a part of. If they like sports, athletic teams are great, but children who don’t enjoy sports can also find support through community or school groups that focus on service, academics, or arts. Encourage your child to be a part of communities that provide them with support in becoming the best person that they can be rather than trying to become like the unrealistic and idealized images presented through sexualized media.

This past week has been a strange one for my local community of Abilene, Texas. A young woman who is from the area was selected to pose in an adult magazine in what has been described by the local newspaper as “nearly nude” poses. As an adult woman, she has the right to do so and nobody that I heard in the community said anything unkind about this young woman. However, many were annoyed that the local Books-A-Million in the Mall of Abilene had chosen to host the signing. There are places that seem much more appropriate for the signing of an adult magazine, such as an adult bookstore or even a lively bar where all of the customers who are in the venue are actually legally allowed to view the materials being signed. Books-A-Million is a store with a large children’s section that many local families frequent, and the signing was held from 7-9pm, hardly past the bedtime of many children. The point is that adult magazines are regulated materials that are not usually spread open on a table for anyone to see when they walk by.

No, I’m not afraid of children learning about sex and sexuality. As I’ve said in many posts before, sexuality should be seen as a beautiful and healthy part of one’s identity. But healthy sexuality involves mutuality, relationships, and emotions. Adult magazines focus on women as objects of desire, pure and simple. That is not the way to teach healthy sexuality to young people. If you’d like to read more about the dangers of objectification, see the posts in the Exploring Objectification series.

I’m not sure of the number of people who called the local bookstore and emailed or called the corporate office. While they did take names and contact information, Books-A-Million told me they had gotten a “rather large response” but were not allowed to share how many complaints they had gotten asking that the magazine signing be moved elsewhere. However, I received many, many messages from people who did call or email both the local store and the corporate headquarters.

Given that feedback from their customers, many from the city of Abilene itself, Books-A-Million continued with the signing and not one person who complained received any kind of response. If the corporate office had said to us, “Listen, we think it’s very healthy to openly display adult magazines where anyone can see it and we will do so,” then at least we would have felt that we had been acknowledged. But instead, Books-A-Million chose to host the signing, ignoring a large number of clients. The headline in the local paper said that “Dozens” turned out to meet this young woman. Dozens? The report in the paper said approximately 150 people had turned up to get their magazines signed. I can guarantee you that at least that number of people either wrote in or called Books-A-Million asking that the signing be moved elsewhere. So, in the end, the store and company may come out even. But will the slighted customers return? Will those who complained and got ABSOLUTELY NO response want to spend their money there in the future? Will those 150 people who came just for the magazine signing make up for the loss of good will from the other customers? I guess Books-A-Million will have to wait and see.

So, it’s been a strange week in our community. Those of us who want to promote the idea that girls and women are more than objects to be desired by men have had a hard time of it. We’ve generally been depicted as prudish housewives out to get this poor young woman. That can’t be farther from the truth. In fact, I wish this young woman the best in her life. I hope that as she is growing and learning about who she is, she will be assured of the fact that she is more than what she looks like. I hope that deep in her heart she knows that a pretty smile and beautiful body are not who she is, that she is so much more than that. And I hope that for all of our girls and women. The local promotion of this young woman as a celebrity because she posed nearly naked does not promote the ideas that girls and women are more than what they look like, that they are more than their sex appeal.

The local media coverage of this has made me sad. Did they give this much coverage to the young woman who went to MIT? How about those girls who are doing service projects all around our community and the world? The women’s university soccer team who made it to nationals? No, I don’t see them being interviewed.

But here is my positive spin, there is a community of people here who did chose to stand together in this and speak up. Even when I feel frustrated with the way others in our community see this issue, I’m comforted by knowing that we did stand up. There is power in that. There is strength in that which is much stronger than the prevailing “who cares” that we get from much of the area on many, many issues.  I hope that we take something powerful away from this, even though nothing changed immediately. I hope that we remember that we must stand for something, that life is not about living it with your head in the sand and a “who cares” on your lips. Those attitudes do not change the world. People have scoffed at all of those who have dared to stand up and say, “This world can be a better place,” from Martin Luther King to those fighting for women’s right to vote. It’s easy to stand on the side of the road and scoff at those who want to make changes. It’s easy to say, “who cares”, “no big deal”, “live and let live.” It’s much harder to get out there and stand up for what you believe is right. That’s what our community did, and we will make a difference. Small groups of people who are passionate about changing the world are the only ones who ever have.